What is self-care? How do you take care of yourself? Do you eat right? Do you get enough sleep? Do you actually take time for yourself where it’s just you…alone? Hopefully the answer to that is, “ Yes, I do all of those things.” Believe it or not, there are some of us who know nothing about self-care or how to take time out of our day that is just for us. We are working and we are running our kids to their soccer practices or to yet another play date or to get their braces tightened or the dreaded shopping trips. Our days are filled with caring for others and that can be gratifying, but when you stop and think about how you actually nurture your own soul, let’s hope you don’t fall short. I did and it was an eye opener when I actually just looked at what I did for myself. I use to think that self care was getting everyone to where they had to be then the drive back to where I had to be was ‘me’ time. I’d crank the tunes, open the car window and let my hair blow and it did feel good. But as soon as I got to my final destination, I was back in the place where I could check my emails and be productive. I was meeting my own goals and achievements and these off the charts expectations I had set for myself had made me have a high tolerance for discomfort of any kind… meaning… I could do it all. I was killing myself at the expense of being all things to all people. That was not self-care!

 

Fast forward from that time that was only about 4 years ago to now and I can honestly say that I understand what self-care means. I made the decision to go back to school to be a health coach and as hard as that was and as much as I worked to get that certification, my days were filled with knowledge and a new found wisdom for all things new and good. I realized that making a decision to wake up and live wholly and to connect to who I was was practicing the beginning stages of self-care. I became aware that I had to nurture myself on the inside and I had to live in the moment. It wasn’t long before my days started to become more inviting. I had less dread for what was on my plate in terms of my obligations.

 

Simple things like paying attention to my breath and then actually taking conscious deep breaths were healing me. I was changing the food I ate. I was eating more live food and feeling that life in me. I gave up sugar, gave up caffeine, started moving more and I was taking the mundane and actually paying attention and it breathed new life into everything I did from brushing my hair, to cooking my meals to walking my dogs. Cooking became Zen mediation for me and the food I was cooking had a calming effect on my family. We talked more at the table and we fought over who was going to say grace. I started to feel love on a profound level. I think that was the biggest eye opener. I had always been so uptight (I can go there still in a New York minute if I forget about where I am in the bigger picture) but now, I have this energy around me that washes over everything and it is sensible, nurturing, promising and kind.

 

I wish I could say exactly how and when it happened. I do know it started with self awareness through health coaching but I think it’s there for all of us all of the time and we just have to stop and know that if we decide to jump off the crazy train of life, that horrible things will not happen. In fact, beautiful things can and will happen. Start with breathing and actually pay attention to your breath. You can slow down the world around in four deep breaths. Then just look around your life, your home, your work, your refrigerator and really take it all in. Are you taking care of yourself? Are you actually practicing self-care? It’s OK if you don’t have the answers right away. Take some time to re-connect with who you are and replace your fear of deadlines with trust that you have enough time and you will learn to let go of the things you cannot control. This is self-care. When you listen to your own intuition you will start to embrace all of your flaws and you will start to connect to who you are. This is self-care. When you learn to be just a little more gentle with yourself…this is where self-care presents itself to you and then it all makes perfect sense.

Now, when I am driving back to where I need to be after getting everyone where they need to be, I crank the tunes, open the window and it all makes sense.